Saturday, 17 September 2011

Very Touching & Personal...

A friend of mine who recently lost her mother to Cancer shared with me a very touching and personal excerpt from her journal. Her words are so raw, yet so beautiful. Thank you for sharing my friend x

"The angels took my Poddles nearly 2 months ago on 24th July, which I know is not very long ago.I am eternally grateful to feel so very peaceful and content today and this feeling increases day by day.
I turned 40 on the 23rd August and my life has changed beautifully and more positively since then. I have made some serious personal decisions which allow me to feel free and very excited about my future. I feel a really strong sense of purpose and that what I do next will help lots of people. Prior to my 40th I was agitated and felt trapped and I did not feel as close to mum which was due to environmental factors limiting my happiness and my soul. There was a deep sense of restlessness deep within me.  My beautiful husband helped me work through this and was so supportive, loving and giving. He loves me adorably and unconditionally. It is really important to talk and not ‘bottle’ things up on any level.

My sister Tashie is amazing also – we talk a lot and share all pain and funny moments and talk about mum. Tashie has 2 nieces Hannah and Jade (5 and 3 years). They jump on the trampoline really high, singing to Ma and telling her stories of their days. They have a photo of her that they say goodnight to and kiss every night. The innocence of children and their love is very healing.
I will tell anyone and everyone the story and the positive experience we went through as a family. The sunshine and light and more essentially the time we had together with Mum is reflective of who we are as a family.

I have started talking to mum out loud walking around like she is next to me, I talk to her in my head, I talk to her before I go to sleep. I feel her with me always. There have been many moments whereby I think something of which I am unsure of and then suddenly there is such clarity it is amazing.
Then there are moments where waves of emotion ‘engulf’ me that spring from nowhere. They are not scary or frightening. They are raw yet beautiful as where there is deep love there is also deep pain.
It can be a something as simple as a song especially The Andrew Lloyd Webber ones. This ‘is what is is’ and I find if you embrace it and go with the flow and allow yourself to feel the pain, and the ache in your heart which is so tangible is completely acceptable. It is part of the grieving process……… It is a huge loss. The ying and yang of it all."

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